He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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