...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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