Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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