Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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