Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
