i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
