two words: eviction party
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
