At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
