what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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