Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You've changed since you got that strap on
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
