I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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