I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My cat gives me a boner
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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