hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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