In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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