Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
