I wish I could teleport
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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