Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
