I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize