Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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