MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
