I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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