Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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