Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
