So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and she was petting her beer can
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
