he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
