i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
