Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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