you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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