yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
