It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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