All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
