I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's blow job season.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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