So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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