i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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