Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she told me i tasted like america
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
