kristin has been a bad kristin
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
