when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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