whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize