How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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