please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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