Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
