yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
