I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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