My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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