I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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