she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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