Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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