mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
