My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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