Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
