I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm determined to sit on that face.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
