Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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