On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
