Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
