Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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