I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
