dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
