Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize