i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We got so high we made milksteak
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize